you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Randomize
