just survived the first fart of the relationship.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
