turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
