It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM