the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
