okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
