Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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