That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
Randomize
