Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
