he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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