He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
