the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
