I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
