Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
