Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
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So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
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Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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