i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
