we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
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