we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Randomize
