Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
This is my life. Enjoy the view
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Randomize
