You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
i love accidental penises.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
a search helicopter?!
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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