I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
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