There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Randomize
