Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Randomize
