why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
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gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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