some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
Randomize
