he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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