On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
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