what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
Sorry about my life...
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
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