I hate your face
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
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