All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
accomplished twins. life is a go
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
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