is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Having a random hookup so left but love u
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
Randomize
