You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
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