it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Randomize
