P.S. I can't hear my feet
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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