I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
