plz talk dirty to me
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize
