So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
Randomize
