her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
I look better un-naked...
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
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