i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
