i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
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