If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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