I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
