I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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