garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
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