So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
