Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
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