I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
