haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
