im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
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