If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
