Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
I just googled if crying burns calories
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Randomize
