He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
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