the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
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