Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
