we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
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