You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
