he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
