Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
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He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
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Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
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