shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I'm sobbing to NWA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize