I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
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