bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
