he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Randomize
