home. puking in laundry basket.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
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