Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Randomize
